Journal for 11/9/09 Philosophies

Domain 4
So, today was my first day to teach all day, which was just fine! YEAH!

After school, though, my teacher and I talked a bit here and there, and bascially I have come to discover that our philosophies differ. She mentioned that a student made a comment about hating group work, which I do a lot of. And so she used that opportunity to tell me that maybe I should back off on the group work. She wasn't pushy or annoyed or anything. She said that she knows that's what they are teaching us "now days". She also said that she has to prepare them for ISTEP. She also said that she sees some kids not working well in groups and watches while others carry the workload and grade. She thinks more instruction might be best. (I know those sentences are choppy and don't flow, but I just trying to hit the main points here.)

I know why I do group work, and I know that it is not going to come to these kids over night. But today, before I spoke with her, I also realized that I need to do more direction instruction because that is what these students are used to. Their reading test scores were lower last week, and she mentioned that she didn't see much comprehension going on, which is what I actually tried to focus on last week...ha! I asked her if she had any ideas/strategies for comprehension, and her first answer was, "just ask a lot of questions; stop when they are reading after every page and ask questions." She did offer me more than that later on, but OH MY!

So, it is going to be very hard to find a balance between giving them the info and helping them discover it. I just feel like I'm not being true to what I know but if I teach that way, then my kids are learning the way my teacher wants to see them "learning". I have always been one to defend myself and explain myself, but I have tried to just take her comments/suggestions and not react. Today, I did that at first and then I tried to explain more of my thinking just so she would know that I had been thinking through all of it and so she would know where I was coming from. It probably didn't come off the greatest. I just talked about how that is what they teach us but that I do it for more than just "because that's what they teach us" and that I am getting a feel for how they work in groups and as a team, and that I have realized it's not going to come over night but that I also know they aren't used to this kind of instruction, and it's not my place to come in and change that in 8 weeks ( along those lines). I probably should've just kept my mouth shut because I didn't do a good job of explaining myself. I would love to share the theory and purpose behind it all, but I don't think in this situation that it is worth it.

I think she thinks I do what I do because it's "fun". That word bothers me in education. It has nothing to do with fun. WHen she was talking about more direction instruction, she said, "I know it's not as fun." That makes me sad!

That helped to get all that out! I will continue to think through it all. It's just hard because everything you have suggested and would want me to do (and every professor for that matter) is not understood as much by her. Not just that, but everything I believe in, education wise, is not seen as beneficial to the classroom (ok, not everything, but you know what I mean).

It is my responsibility to find a happy balance...God give me the grace to do such!