Well, today was it. I cannot believe it.
I had an interview with my principal today, but I forgot to take the IWU form...is that ok? I completely spaced on the first question but after that I think I did ok. I tried to cut myself short and not drag out my answers...that was encouraging:)!
I was holding in the tears until one of my students hugged me in a way that I knew he would truly miss me. Of course, the students are all going to "miss" me; they all wanted hugs and acted "all sad" and such, but he almost clung to me and gave me a really long, deep (if I can use that word) hug. He didn't realize it was my last day until later in the afternoon. As I was reflecting on it, I thought that perhaps he actually thought he had a friend. He was listened to, believed in, and had expectations set before him.
I have also thought about things I could've done, and although I cannot change the past, I can keep those things in mind for the future.
I thank you for ALLLLLLLLLLL your support this semester! A thank you is not enough. I am sure we will remain in contact...even in the near future, so I have no worries there. I am so grateful you were my supervisor; a true gift from God!
I hope you have a WONDERFUL break with your husband and boys! Try to rest and enjoy your time with family and friends!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Journal 12/15/09 1 day!
WOW! Time has flown! It went great without my teacher today! The students were wonderful! And the sub (that she said is controlling:)) worked well with me. I just made sure I gave her stuff to do with students and tried to make her feel useful and appreciated!
I wonder if they just had a good day or if it was because they had more consistency today. I don't equate her being gone with their behavior, but it does make me wonder:)!
The student that's been so hard to "figure out"...well, he had a great day today! I called his mom right after school; I rewarded him; we praised him in class and clapped for him (because the students noticed too); he stood in line; he participated in class; he sat in learning position; it was amazing! I had written a note in his assignment book yesterday that he had had a better day; when I called him mom, she said he had been happy about that. It's amazing what a little encouragement can do for someone! It will be interesting to see where this goes. And this was only one day after mom being home when he gets off the bus!
No worries at all...I know you have a lot to do! If you never read them, that's even ok with me! You do what you need to do!
It hasn't quite hit me yet that tomorrow is my last day...I think it will be hard but freeing at the same time!
P.S. Tom has an interview with Ohio State on Friday!
I wonder if they just had a good day or if it was because they had more consistency today. I don't equate her being gone with their behavior, but it does make me wonder:)!
The student that's been so hard to "figure out"...well, he had a great day today! I called his mom right after school; I rewarded him; we praised him in class and clapped for him (because the students noticed too); he stood in line; he participated in class; he sat in learning position; it was amazing! I had written a note in his assignment book yesterday that he had had a better day; when I called him mom, she said he had been happy about that. It's amazing what a little encouragement can do for someone! It will be interesting to see where this goes. And this was only one day after mom being home when he gets off the bus!
No worries at all...I know you have a lot to do! If you never read them, that's even ok with me! You do what you need to do!
It hasn't quite hit me yet that tomorrow is my last day...I think it will be hard but freeing at the same time!
P.S. Tom has an interview with Ohio State on Friday!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Journal for 12/14/09 Time flies...
Even though I was tired today, I was more energized when teaching. The students responded very well. It's amazing what a bag of popcorn can do:)!
The only thing that is on my mind now is getting in all the grades. I still have some students who need to finish things, and so that is what needs to get done these next few days.
I will be teaching the whole day tomorrow, for my teacher will be out, so I will lose a few hours of catching up, but that's alright.
I told my principal today of my "decline", and he was perfectly fine with it! He said he has others in mind. I was just grateful it was so easy. I never have liked telling people "no".
We have an interview set up for Wednesday! Remember, Miss L, short, concise answers, eye contact, and always professional:)! And I thought the hard parts were over! Just kidding!
I wonder when it will hit me that it's almost over. I do feel like this chapter is over, and now it's time to move on. I go to meet the couple that Prof Jones referred me to tonight. We'll see where that leads!
Have a great last few days! Finish strong!
I hope you enjoyed all that grading!!
The only thing that is on my mind now is getting in all the grades. I still have some students who need to finish things, and so that is what needs to get done these next few days.
I will be teaching the whole day tomorrow, for my teacher will be out, so I will lose a few hours of catching up, but that's alright.
I told my principal today of my "decline", and he was perfectly fine with it! He said he has others in mind. I was just grateful it was so easy. I never have liked telling people "no".
We have an interview set up for Wednesday! Remember, Miss L, short, concise answers, eye contact, and always professional:)! And I thought the hard parts were over! Just kidding!
I wonder when it will hit me that it's almost over. I do feel like this chapter is over, and now it's time to move on. I go to meet the couple that Prof Jones referred me to tonight. We'll see where that leads!
Have a great last few days! Finish strong!
I hope you enjoyed all that grading!!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Journal for 12/11/09
We met with the mom today, and the special ed director was able to join us too. I was the first to see her - to take her into the conference room. I just tried to make her feel comfortable and talk about the shopping she did yesterday, etc. The special ed director was really able to help by suggesting a counselor in town that also uses horse therapy. So the mom is going to start with that and with talking to her allergy doctor to see if they can direct her (apparently he's allergic to a lot of things, and this might be one cause of his behavior). The mom is also moving to day shift, so that will hopefully bring more consistency with homework and behavior after school. We were able to suggest some activities to do with him at home after school to help develop some other interests besides computer games and also to give him some quality time with his mom - we also thought that maybe as one of the middle children (and as a quieter one) that maybe he is getting overlooked or "lost" (those were more his mom's thoughts, and then we fed off those). She cried and expressed her regrets as a mom, and they were quick to assure her that she had not failed as a mother.
I shared some encouraging, positive things about her son with her. I also told her that the fact that she had come in meant something HUGE! I hope things start to turn around. Our problem now is that we don't know what consequence to have for his disrespect in the class. Some consequences just make him more mad and angry and he gets into one of his "moods"; other consequences he just doesn't respond to - he ignores more. Obviously, we could send him down to the assisstant principal for discipline issues but his form of "punishment" is not what I believe this child needs or is appropriately considering we don't know the cause of his behavior. I just don't feel that's fair to him (if that makes sense). My teacher and I discussed it, and we are at a loss at this point. I am hoping that the change at home will help turn things around. We'll see. It just might take some time.
The principal was supposed to get back to me about a time that would work for an interview, but he hasn't. I have not bothered him about it again. Any suggestions? I feel like the couple times that I already talked to him about it, it was a "bother" just because he is busy; I could have been reading more into it, of couse. I just want to be respectful.
Also, I think Monday I am going to share my decline in the aide position. Is that the proper way to handle that? (I think so; I just want to make sure) I just want to be honest with him and tell him that for personal reasons, I just feel led down a different direction this semester and that as much as I appreciate the opportunity, the other options I had in mind are just going to fit my needs better. Should I also apologize for showing a lot of interest and not accepting? Just curious if you had any suggestions or words of wisdom.
My teacher also told me that she was proud of the way I handled the aide. We were discussing the sub that I will be working with on Tuesday and how controlling she is and that led to discussing the aide. I won't go into detail, but she just said I had done well. She also said something about the "things she had said when I wasn't looking or she didn't think I could hear"; again, some of the things she says makes me wonder WHY she says them to me. The other day too, the student we are trying to figure out would not go to library/talk to us about what was going on. He never did tell us what was wrong, but in the meeting today, she brought that up and definitely used the reason I had asked the student about which involved an activity I was doing with him...she may mean nothing by it, but almost every time, it has really surprised me.
I will miss her...we've developed a good relationship. I love that aspect of student teaching...so much!
Have a great weekend...any last weekend plans? :)
I shared some encouraging, positive things about her son with her. I also told her that the fact that she had come in meant something HUGE! I hope things start to turn around. Our problem now is that we don't know what consequence to have for his disrespect in the class. Some consequences just make him more mad and angry and he gets into one of his "moods"; other consequences he just doesn't respond to - he ignores more. Obviously, we could send him down to the assisstant principal for discipline issues but his form of "punishment" is not what I believe this child needs or is appropriately considering we don't know the cause of his behavior. I just don't feel that's fair to him (if that makes sense). My teacher and I discussed it, and we are at a loss at this point. I am hoping that the change at home will help turn things around. We'll see. It just might take some time.
The principal was supposed to get back to me about a time that would work for an interview, but he hasn't. I have not bothered him about it again. Any suggestions? I feel like the couple times that I already talked to him about it, it was a "bother" just because he is busy; I could have been reading more into it, of couse. I just want to be respectful.
Also, I think Monday I am going to share my decline in the aide position. Is that the proper way to handle that? (I think so; I just want to make sure) I just want to be honest with him and tell him that for personal reasons, I just feel led down a different direction this semester and that as much as I appreciate the opportunity, the other options I had in mind are just going to fit my needs better. Should I also apologize for showing a lot of interest and not accepting? Just curious if you had any suggestions or words of wisdom.
My teacher also told me that she was proud of the way I handled the aide. We were discussing the sub that I will be working with on Tuesday and how controlling she is and that led to discussing the aide. I won't go into detail, but she just said I had done well. She also said something about the "things she had said when I wasn't looking or she didn't think I could hear"; again, some of the things she says makes me wonder WHY she says them to me. The other day too, the student we are trying to figure out would not go to library/talk to us about what was going on. He never did tell us what was wrong, but in the meeting today, she brought that up and definitely used the reason I had asked the student about which involved an activity I was doing with him...she may mean nothing by it, but almost every time, it has really surprised me.
I will miss her...we've developed a good relationship. I love that aspect of student teaching...so much!
Have a great weekend...any last weekend plans? :)
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Journal for 12/10/09 Still no 2 hour delay:(
The mom forgot about our meeting, so we are planning on it tomorrow instead.
We did centers this morning (and math was included), so this morning went better. We also did a volcano this afternoon which helped management because they didn't want to have to go back to their seats for that:)! They did super well.
I should put myself in their shoes...you are right.
I have been observing other teachers; trust me, it's not that I don't have enough to do. The other teachers...it's sad. I even observed an IWU grad (from just 2 or 3 years ago) today, and I wasn't really impressed a whole lot. I know that it was only for one subject but still.
I was so excited about this - I talked with Prof Jones in the office today and was telling her how I'm not quite sure what I will be doing next semester but how I don't really want to be in the school setting...just something more low key. She gave me a card for a friend who needs a sitter...which is what I wanted! ( and still want) I asked God for a sign. Now, I know this is not final by any means, but my oh my! How cool is He?
Hope you had fun tonight with your class!
Keep those dreams funny!
We did centers this morning (and math was included), so this morning went better. We also did a volcano this afternoon which helped management because they didn't want to have to go back to their seats for that:)! They did super well.
I should put myself in their shoes...you are right.
I have been observing other teachers; trust me, it's not that I don't have enough to do. The other teachers...it's sad. I even observed an IWU grad (from just 2 or 3 years ago) today, and I wasn't really impressed a whole lot. I know that it was only for one subject but still.
I was so excited about this - I talked with Prof Jones in the office today and was telling her how I'm not quite sure what I will be doing next semester but how I don't really want to be in the school setting...just something more low key. She gave me a card for a friend who needs a sitter...which is what I wanted! ( and still want) I asked God for a sign. Now, I know this is not final by any means, but my oh my! How cool is He?
Hope you had fun tonight with your class!
Keep those dreams funny!
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Follow Up
We have wondered about a behavior/emotional disorder for this student, but we aren't quite sure yet. My teacher has looked through a book that has a lot advice for certain "labels" or "student types". She is going to start keeping a journal on him. I also think the special ed director is going to meet with us, so we will see! I wish you could observe him.
Journal 12/9/09 Preach it to the Choir, Olivia
Ok, so I said something to my students today that was convicting...I told them that they still need to give me their best because I'm giving them my best...what a lie. While I was saying it, I realized that I haven't been giving them my best. I can't even put to words how I have felt or acted and just how my time with them has been. I have lost my spark and energy; I don't if it's because I'm tired and ready to be done; I don't know if it's just hard because it's not "mine" any more and therefore, it's "secretly" frustrating to just be "helping"...even though I basically am still taking over from 10-then of school (2:45). I know I've had alot on my mind too; I just feel like I spend the whole time trying to manage them. But I've gone in with that expectation, so I need to bring my best and my A game instead of a bad attitude. They seem to have lost respect for me...but that could be because of the whole transition...I know I've already said all this, but I've just been reflecting on it more and more. I haven't "enjoyed" teaching these past few days...I still LOVE it but haven't enjoyed it. I just don't want to spend these next couple days on a bad foot with the students; I need to talk to my teacher about it...any advice?
You're last night class is tomorrow....are you excited?
You're last night class is tomorrow....are you excited?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Journal for 12/8/09 Communication
I called 2 parents today. One to see if she could come in to talk about her son and help us come up with an game plan for him and another to inform her I would be sending home work that her child failed (from rushing through). Both mothers were receptive, and I really tried hard to come across as a team player and not upset or "in your face". I have realized throughout this semester the importance of parent rapport. I did not call parents with positive things like I had planned, so therefore, every time I went to call them about an "issue", I felt totally guilty; I guess I now know the priority that will have in my class.
I did leave a message with one parent last night (an encouraging one), and the student came in this morning and told me (I could tell he was proud). I spoke with another student today about how we seemed to not be on the best of terms the past few days, and so we kind of mended that, which greatly improved her behavior. Amazing what a little communication can do!
I don't know what it is...but the kids are driving me nuts during instruction; they are not responding to me like they usually do; I'm sure I'm getting tired, and they are being tossed between the two of us...many factors play in, but it's tough. I pray God's grace will be greater than what I can handle.
We have one student that we are trying to figure out...Professor Forshey, it's different (it being whatever is going on inside his head). I wish I had time and the words to type it out, but it's almost like Jeckel (sp?) and Hyde. I feel like something else is controlling him...maybe I should just pray over the room and over his desk...see what that will bring. He's bit pencils, stomped his feed, thrown a shoe, stayed out in the hall for a long time because he didn't want to do what we asked; today, he laid on the floor at the end of school and wouldn't get up. We've tried a checklist, a sticker chart with the best reward at school we can come up with, ignoring him, giving him room to cool off, having him participate, encouraging the good, etc. That's why we are going to meet with his mom this week to see if we can collaborate...We have an idea that just might work if we are all on board together!
We'll see!
I didn't get those materials to you today; hopefully tomorrow!
I did leave a message with one parent last night (an encouraging one), and the student came in this morning and told me (I could tell he was proud). I spoke with another student today about how we seemed to not be on the best of terms the past few days, and so we kind of mended that, which greatly improved her behavior. Amazing what a little communication can do!
I don't know what it is...but the kids are driving me nuts during instruction; they are not responding to me like they usually do; I'm sure I'm getting tired, and they are being tossed between the two of us...many factors play in, but it's tough. I pray God's grace will be greater than what I can handle.
We have one student that we are trying to figure out...Professor Forshey, it's different (it being whatever is going on inside his head). I wish I had time and the words to type it out, but it's almost like Jeckel (sp?) and Hyde. I feel like something else is controlling him...maybe I should just pray over the room and over his desk...see what that will bring. He's bit pencils, stomped his feed, thrown a shoe, stayed out in the hall for a long time because he didn't want to do what we asked; today, he laid on the floor at the end of school and wouldn't get up. We've tried a checklist, a sticker chart with the best reward at school we can come up with, ignoring him, giving him room to cool off, having him participate, encouraging the good, etc. That's why we are going to meet with his mom this week to see if we can collaborate...We have an idea that just might work if we are all on board together!
We'll see!
I didn't get those materials to you today; hopefully tomorrow!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Journal for 12/7/09 Tag Teaming
It nice not teaching this morning. (P.S. It took me over 40 minutes to get to school this morning:)). I did notice that my teacher called on one student in particular way more than any other student; I hope I was more mindful of that.
I noticed I was a bit more impatient with the students today; I think I just had a lot on my mind...
The whole "job" thing. As I got to thinking about it, it is going to be a 35-60 minute drive depending on the weather. I checked today, and I only get sub pay, not Title 1 aide pay. I don't receive any days off; I would just have to have a "no pay" day. And, I had already planned a trip in January that would but into that first week back at school (which could be cancelled if necessary).
Do you think, especially in light of the economy, that is unwise to just want to do more random stuff next semester...like sub, clean houses/businesses, and perhaps even nanny/babysit? I think my mind and spirit kind of need a break. I am not fearful of losing an opportunity to get my foot in the door at Eastern; if I would not end up following Tom, I would go wherever I could find a job or overseas or anything. I'm not worried about that.
I don't want to make a foolish decision, but I don't want to do what's "the best" in everyone else's eyes.
Just thought I would get your opinion if you don't mind playing mom or the "wise one" or something like that;)!
Have a good night.
I noticed I was a bit more impatient with the students today; I think I just had a lot on my mind...
The whole "job" thing. As I got to thinking about it, it is going to be a 35-60 minute drive depending on the weather. I checked today, and I only get sub pay, not Title 1 aide pay. I don't receive any days off; I would just have to have a "no pay" day. And, I had already planned a trip in January that would but into that first week back at school (which could be cancelled if necessary).
Do you think, especially in light of the economy, that is unwise to just want to do more random stuff next semester...like sub, clean houses/businesses, and perhaps even nanny/babysit? I think my mind and spirit kind of need a break. I am not fearful of losing an opportunity to get my foot in the door at Eastern; if I would not end up following Tom, I would go wherever I could find a job or overseas or anything. I'm not worried about that.
I don't want to make a foolish decision, but I don't want to do what's "the best" in everyone else's eyes.
Just thought I would get your opinion if you don't mind playing mom or the "wise one" or something like that;)!
Have a good night.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Journal for 12/4/09 8 Days but not counting...
They offered me a Title 1 position today. Last time I spoke with them about it, they already had someone lined up that "they owed". But today, the principal said they wanted me for the temporary fill! So, that's exciting! Nothing is ever final...is it? God is still in control.
Next week will probably be a little crazy. I asked my teacher if she wanted me to "take over" from math until science or what she wanted do with that non-instructional time. She said I can take them to lunch but for study hall, we could just tag team it; I don't think that is smart. It will confuse the students; they will not know who or how to respond. We both manage differently, and with the extra "crafts" and such...boy oh boy!
We'll see how it goes! They are starting to "shut down" a bit, BUT I think that is partly teacher controlled...we create the environment in which for them to shut down...
Yeah for your internship being over! That has to feel wonderful!!!
Next week will probably be a little crazy. I asked my teacher if she wanted me to "take over" from math until science or what she wanted do with that non-instructional time. She said I can take them to lunch but for study hall, we could just tag team it; I don't think that is smart. It will confuse the students; they will not know who or how to respond. We both manage differently, and with the extra "crafts" and such...boy oh boy!
We'll see how it goes! They are starting to "shut down" a bit, BUT I think that is partly teacher controlled...we create the environment in which for them to shut down...
Yeah for your internship being over! That has to feel wonderful!!!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Journal for 12/3/09 Relief?
It's kind of weird....I thought I would feel relieved, but I don't. I wasn't really nervous once I got in there tonight....so maybe that's why I don't feel relieved. I'm not quite sure what to think of it all. It's weird.
I do appreciate you and the whole "panel"! The feedback was very helpful and hopefully I will be able to grow in those areas before a real interview!
I was discouraged that I could not properly answer the mastery question. But, that just showed me an area of growth. I equate some of that imcompetency to the fact that it is not my own classrooom, and I don't feel like everything I did was really up to par or how it would be officially done in my class. But, again...just an opportunity to grow. I'm still learning...
One more full day of teaching my own plans! I can't believe how fast it is gone. I'm still in a daze!
I hope you got home at a decent time tonight!
Your internship is done...correct?
I do appreciate you and the whole "panel"! The feedback was very helpful and hopefully I will be able to grow in those areas before a real interview!
I was discouraged that I could not properly answer the mastery question. But, that just showed me an area of growth. I equate some of that imcompetency to the fact that it is not my own classrooom, and I don't feel like everything I did was really up to par or how it would be officially done in my class. But, again...just an opportunity to grow. I'm still learning...
One more full day of teaching my own plans! I can't believe how fast it is gone. I'm still in a daze!
I hope you got home at a decent time tonight!
Your internship is done...correct?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Journal for 12/2/09 Interesting...
This is going to be a short journal, but one "episode" really caught my attention today. I told the music teacher to let me know how the students did for her because a few weeks back they were "horrible" for her, and we had to have a talk; they came up with their own consequences, etc. So today, I reminded them of the consequences that resulted for inappropriate behavior.
She came to me afterward and told me that they were wonderful, that they had improved a lot, and that because of this fact, she moved them to the center of the group for their program!!!
She was telling me this in the hall, and my teacher came out. I filled her in on some of what the music teacher had told me, and she asked, "My students?"
My students?
It was just interesting to me that she didn't even say "our students" or anything. I didn't take offense...obviously that is not what I do, but it just caught my attention.
I really enjoyed teaching this morning; AND, my students needed more time for journaling...woohoo! They WANTED (let me rephrase that) more time for journaling!
I got to see Smartboard in action today; I like those things. Do IWU students learn how to use those in Ed Tech now?
I will try to come over and see you tonight!! I need to fix my porfolio, which is taking me awhile, but I still want to come and be calmed by your presence and get some writing wisdom from you!
She came to me afterward and told me that they were wonderful, that they had improved a lot, and that because of this fact, she moved them to the center of the group for their program!!!
She was telling me this in the hall, and my teacher came out. I filled her in on some of what the music teacher had told me, and she asked, "My students?"
My students?
It was just interesting to me that she didn't even say "our students" or anything. I didn't take offense...obviously that is not what I do, but it just caught my attention.
I really enjoyed teaching this morning; AND, my students needed more time for journaling...woohoo! They WANTED (let me rephrase that) more time for journaling!
I got to see Smartboard in action today; I like those things. Do IWU students learn how to use those in Ed Tech now?
I will try to come over and see you tonight!! I need to fix my porfolio, which is taking me awhile, but I still want to come and be calmed by your presence and get some writing wisdom from you!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Journal for 12/1/09 Happy December!!
I'm not going to lie...this week will probably be my hardest just because I am fighting "the end". I feel like I should be done, and I don't like my teacher's holiday mindset, so it's kind of a mind battle I am having to fight...but that will only make me stronger!
I don't like holiday "crafts" unless they have an educational purpose....if it's a repsonse to a read-a-loud or reflective of what students are learning, then great. But I am not teaching art or home 'ec' (I have not idea how to spell that!). I know the kids get a little crazy this time of year, but I believe we should still expect the same from them. It's hard having to think through all this Christmas "stuff" when I will be going back to half a day next week and because I don't support it all. I feel like we're making excuses to not have to plan stuff. I realize the students do need breaks and that Christmas spirit is important, but it is important that learning is tied to it...and I'm afraid that is not what we are doing. I COULD try to tie it in, but with only 2 full days left, it seems like I should just wait for my time to do that...when I have my own class.
Thanks for all your help today! I appreciate it!
I don't like holiday "crafts" unless they have an educational purpose....if it's a repsonse to a read-a-loud or reflective of what students are learning, then great. But I am not teaching art or home 'ec' (I have not idea how to spell that!). I know the kids get a little crazy this time of year, but I believe we should still expect the same from them. It's hard having to think through all this Christmas "stuff" when I will be going back to half a day next week and because I don't support it all. I feel like we're making excuses to not have to plan stuff. I realize the students do need breaks and that Christmas spirit is important, but it is important that learning is tied to it...and I'm afraid that is not what we are doing. I COULD try to tie it in, but with only 2 full days left, it seems like I should just wait for my time to do that...when I have my own class.
Thanks for all your help today! I appreciate it!
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