Ok, so I said something to my students today that was convicting...I told them that they still need to give me their best because I'm giving them my best...what a lie. While I was saying it, I realized that I haven't been giving them my best. I can't even put to words how I have felt or acted and just how my time with them has been. I have lost my spark and energy; I don't if it's because I'm tired and ready to be done; I don't know if it's just hard because it's not "mine" any more and therefore, it's "secretly" frustrating to just be "helping"...even though I basically am still taking over from 10-then of school (2:45). I know I've had alot on my mind too; I just feel like I spend the whole time trying to manage them. But I've gone in with that expectation, so I need to bring my best and my A game instead of a bad attitude. They seem to have lost respect for me...but that could be because of the whole transition...I know I've already said all this, but I've just been reflecting on it more and more. I haven't "enjoyed" teaching these past few days...I still LOVE it but haven't enjoyed it. I just don't want to spend these next couple days on a bad foot with the students; I need to talk to my teacher about it...any advice?
You're last night class is tomorrow....are you excited?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Olivia,
ReplyDeleteI have done the same. I preach about professionalism in work presented and then get penalized because of mistakes I've made that should have been better. So I can relate. The good thing is we both realize it and then make changes because of it. What would be worse is to not acknowledge it.
I'm sure the transition is hard and understandably can make for a long day as you "wait" for time to pass. What about observing other teachers? Could you spend time in a classroom for each grade level? I wonder if this could give you more ideas and provide more inspiration for the future.
You also need to not be so hard on you and your students. They are struggling to understand who is "in charge" which can make it seem like disrespect. Keep in mind change is difficult for children...I think if you put yourself in their shoes it may allow you to be more forgiving/understanding.
I'll be praying for wisdom!
Prof. Forshey
PS Yes, tomorrow is my last night class:). They are coming to my house weather permitting.