Journal 9/28/09 More than Worksheets

Domain 2 Personal Development

This morning, when I was doing the Math Board, I overheard my aide and teacher discussing some of their plan of action once I am gone. I heard them discussing their morning routine and then the aide brought up something about "she goes over the alotted time; she is only supposed to have them from such and such time, but today she didn't get them out of there till 9:45" (or something like that. My guess is that she was talking about me, and although it is her norm to gossip or complain, etc., I have never heard her do so about me. At first, I was actually hurt because I was standing right there in the room and neither of them had ever brought it up before. I thought about saying something to my teacher, asking her if I was using too much time, but I figured that for one, my time is also up there, and for two, if she thought it was a big deal, she would have already brought it up with me. I also realized that people will say and do things like that my whole life, but I can't go around trying to make myself feel better my trying to solve the problem each time. She made a comment about hurrying them up or something and all I could think of was that to her, instruction is worksheets and a few "instructions"/verbal mini lesson. She has no idea what exactly goes into a lesson nor does she probably understand the concept of progress, mastery, informal assessment, etc. So to her, it would be easy just to speed them up. A hard lesson learned...I want them to understand why I do what I do. One of my students I let out at the approximate time, and I should be better at that, but sometimes if I am in the middle of something, I don't just want to stop cold. His teacher has never said anything to me about it, so I am assuming it's been ok. I probably should have talked with her about it. And the other, he always comes in late, so I work with him an extra few minutes to try to keep him on track or give him the extra instruction he needs. Anyways...I don't have to fix all the hurts in life.
Another note, one of my students is moving this week. Thursday is his last day; again, I know you aren't supposed to have favorites, but he is mine. It will be sad to see him go. It's comforting though knowing I had a chance to be a part of his life for this short time. It is also nice knowing I will be leaving soon myself, so I would be saying goodbye anyway. I feel for the others though who will miss him a lot as well.